


Baby Showers Are Just The Worst

by rhodeybear



Category: Avengers: Endgame - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dad!Tony, Mom!Pepper, Nat needs a hug, Rhodey Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, everyone needs a fucking hug, godfather!rhodey, godmother!nat, set within the timeskip in endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 07:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18655594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhodeybear/pseuds/rhodeybear
Summary: Major spoilers ahead. Don't read if you haven't watched the movie.Set within the five years after Tony's arrival on Earth. We witness Rhodey and Natasha become the godparents to the baby Morgan.





	Baby Showers Are Just The Worst

He remembers as if it was yesterday.

A mission in Brazil, in search of one Clint Barton. Granted, the so-called “battle” against Thanos was nothing if not… anti-climactic and useless. Which pretty much left the whole Avengers more broken and separated than ever.

Well, there’s _one person_ keeping them together and her name is **Natasha Alianovna Romanova**. Or, Natasha Romanoff, for short. She was a private person, not wanting to talk of her past (Rhodey doesn’t wanna push either, so it works) and he respects that. What’s important is that she’s okay, since the Thanos thing left everyone to find their footing and grip at loose straws or however the saying goes.

He wants to ask if she’s okay, but whenever he does, she smiles at him and say “Why wouldn’t I be?”.  There’s a dozen things he wants to tell her, how she’s never alone, or how he’s always got her back, or how they’re gonna try and get everyone back, even if it means sacrificing himself. He wants to tell her how she’s one of the best people he’s met ever since he’s started out on this team, how she was always there even when he lost his legs, how she’s just able to keep everyone together.

_Shit_. That’s gotta be some hardwork, you know? Especially with a bunch of stubborn ass people who don’t listen. A mission with her proved to be practical and easy, but looking at her and how sorrowful those eyes looked…

And that’s when he called.

_Called_ is probably an understatement, seeing as Tony effectively hacked into his suit and almost gave him a heart attack.

“Hey, honeybear,” Tony says casually, as if they were just having lunch, “You ever told someone that something will happen because of a dream and it ends up being true anyway and that someone looks like a sore loser right now?”

“Yeah, with you--- how many times did I tell you not to hack into my suit?” Rhodey asks, annoyance laced into his query that’s meant to be biting but rather, filled with fondness.

“With me? Whatever, not what I called for—“

“You didn’t _call_ , you _hacked_ into my suit.”

“No one says hack anymore, how many times do I need---“

“Are you two bickering _during_ a mission?” Natasha cuts in with a judgemental eye that has a hint of amusement. It seems as if Tony hacked not only his suit, but their comms.

“No.” Tony and Rhodey swiftly answers, but Natasha could only cross her arms and smirk at Rhodey as if she was waiting for an answer. Wait, she was, wasn’t she?  Before he could give her an answer, Tony beat him to it.

“No, Miss Romanoff, we are not fighting. I called because I had to remind Rhodey about his weekly updates. For the suits… and the prosthetics.”

Rhodey knows it was bullshit and Natasha could smell that from a mile away. Her smirk deepens when she asks, “You called Rhodey at this time just to remind him about his weekly updates? You do know that e-mails are a thing, right, _shellhead_?”

Silence was only Tony’s reply to her ever astute observation before he gives a defeated sigh. It’s the kind of sigh he makes when he knows he’s being cornered and he’s a big loser for it. Rhodey knows that sigh since college.

“Okay. Fine. You got me. We’re planning on having a baby shower. Actually, it’s more like _I’m_ throwing a baby shower for Pep since she said it’s a bad time and all that, but it got me thinking that… what if, this is what we need at this time too?”

Rhodey couldn’t help but look at Natasha’s expression. How it turned from complete hubris to something desolate that flashed within a microsecond to something neutral.

“Tony….” He started, because they weren’t on a mission to find Clint for nothing. Was this really the best time? Pepper’s always have a point and it’s best to listen to her, “Are you sure it’s really the best time?”

Before Tony could answer, it was Nat who broke the silence, her voice mildly croaking until she clears her throat, “No, no… I think…. It’s a wonderful idea. We’ve been seeing darkness for a while now, a baby shower won’t hurt anyone. Something normal.”

They’ve always known that Tony always wanted to be a father. Yet, they’ve never really expected for him to have a baby a year after they killed Thanos and lost all stones. Then again, he had every right to move on. Everyone has.

“By the way,” Tony speaks with hesitation, and Rhodey can see him playing with his fingers with his brows furrowed, “Both of you are actually… _the godparents_ to baby Morgan. So. I expect gifts! Don’t tell anyone else about this. Good luck with your mission!” And there and then, he disconnects the call.

Okay…. What the fuck?

_What the actual fuck_? What makes Pepper and Tony think he’s capable of taking care of kids? Much less knowing about changing diapers, calming them down or being telepathic to know what kids actually want? Kids are like…. Bigger yet cuter furbies. Children aren’t that bad, don’t get him wrong, but whenever someone mentions kids he just remembers that One ( 1 ) movie titled, “ **The Children** ”. And guess what happens in it? The kids KILL their parents for no reason at all! White people are crazy!

He didn’t know how long he spent in his own head before Natasha taps at his mask.

“Hey, War Machine, you okay in there?” She asks, and there’s something hidden in those words that he can’t just quite put his finger on it. But, maybe later.

“Yeah, yeah. I was just… surprised.” He confesses, as he puts his faceplate up to look at her.

“That he moved on already?” She smiles yet her eyes were distant, “It wouldn’t surprise me either. Everyone’s moving on.”

“Can’t say he doesn’t deserve it,” he shrugs half-heartedly, “Can’t say you don’t deserve it too.”

As much as Rhodey expected a snarky remark, there was only quietude to reply to him. She was no longer facing him, but the vast dark of the horizon beyond them.

“No one’s here. No sight of bogeys either.” She confirms, after a minute, “Wanna go back to the jet and then grab something to eat?”

“Oh, please.” Rhodey says as he slowly gets up, the pain rushing from his legs to his spine making him groan softly, “I’m famished.”

He won’t say anything about this, won’t say anything about how Natasha has a habit of deflecting or saying she’s okay when she’s clearly not. But in due time, he’ll ask her about it. Probably.

The repulsor whirs softly under him. He sees her raise her hands, takes it and flies them both towards where the jet was hidden.  They’ve got a lot to discuss about. Being a godparent wasn’t an easy task, and he doesn’t really know what went on in Pepper and Tony’s mind to make them think he was qualified for it but nevertheless, he was… honoured. More or less.

With Tony’s baby coming in (Rhodey didn’t even get to ask how far along Pepper was), they’ve got the perfect place to raise a kid in. A peaceful place, away from the gloominess of the city, the rudeness of New Yorkers, but most of all, away from the danger.

Even with Tony’s retirement, he was still working. Not necessarily on suits, but more on upgrading tech for his teammates… specifically, himself and Natasha. Which also means that Rhodey has a nanotech version of the War Machine armour that comes in handy from time to time, yet he tells Tony that he prefers the bulky one (he didn’t take kindly to that but understood).

“Hey,” he nods to Natasha who was seated at his right, “You got… uhh… you got any experience with kids and all that?”

Contrary to popular belief, Tony doesn’t really share everything with him. Most of the time, he had to find out from others or force Tony to tell him about that Latest Gossip.

“No.” Natasha only smiles back at him, “Are you asking that just because I’m a woman?” She teases him good-naturedly, even if there is something lingering behind those eyes.

“God, no!” He exclaims as he shakes his head, “It’s just… I’ve got no idea what to do with kids, you know? How do you handle those little monkeys?”

The jet starts as Natasha chuckles softly, “So that’s what you’re worried about? Taking care of Tony’s kid?”

“Well, if your old man’s Tony Stark…” He says with a shrug, before grinning up at Natasha, “Bound to be something of a chaotic mess, right?”

“You’re gonna be fine, Rhodes.” Natasha reassures him, “If the kid breaks a bone, just blame it on Tony.”

“Right.” Rhodey murmurs against the sound of the jet, “Like it’s that easy.”

And as if she was rubbing it in his face, Natasha decided to play the whole Shrek 3 soundtrack.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually don't know how to write. . . so . you have this sorta rushed thing but the idea is building in my head .  
> nat is sorta . . . off in this scene because everyone separated and shit so  
> also you know criticism is welcomed . hunt me down on twitter : @rhodeybear


End file.
